More Horrible Hate Mail!

Dear Scum:

You are probably some religious cracker crawling on your belly with a semi- automatic between postings. Conservatives are violent racists. We progressives believe in racial equality and affordable housing- unless it is on the upper West Side of Manhattan, near the "Coop" in Harvard Square, or anywhere near Rodeo Drive. I interact with all sorts of minorities at Barnard college all the time- I order takeout a lot . My boyfriend - Trace- has a really good friend named Rasta Jean who gives us lots of pills really cheap. So anyway I hope you die a violent death choking on your own vomit.

Have a nice Day!

Risa "Beeper" Fleishman


I think we have exposed Sarah Palin, and the "Tea Party" for the racists they are. You argue that the absence of audio or video of anything remotely resembling racists rants from Tea Party meetings is ambiguous; Liberals, Sir, do not need evidence. None of our political philosophy is based on reality or practical experience. So get a big hemorrhoid and drop a big stool, you fascist pig.

Anthony SoterGod- Berkeley class of 1990,Performance Artist.

I have been at Harvard now for six months. Yesterday, in my intro physics class, the upperclassman had me squirt water over my shirt and jump up and down to learn how gravity affects tidal water. I bet you think the world is round, and want to kill all the wolves just like Sarah Palin. Well, its flat, that's what my TA told me, that's why we walk standing up-- otherwise we would roll right over the edge! I bet Sarah Palin doesn't know that!

Ashley Judd, Harvard

Matt Damon talks to Sarah Palin Haters

I guess you are really happy that my anti-American bit of self stroke movie - The Green Zone- isn't even making pop corn money at the box office. Huh? Come on, admit it, you fascist Palin bootlicker. What you don't get is that as a 40 year old actor who can pass himself off as 25, I can make any damn movie I want. Next year, I might make a movie about transgender migrant workers called Salsa Mascara. See as a Hollywood intellectual and big shot, making light of working kids sacrifices in a war, is my right! And by the way Palin believes that Dinosaurs protected the Baby Jesus in the manager! I read it in Mother Jones. I am a graduate of Cambridge Latin, the almost prep school in Cambridge, and of Harvard. All right, I did not graduate from Harvard, but only because I had to perfect my craft scoring with beach bimbos in Santa Cruz And you better stop writing that my gym teacher in high school only wrote me a letter of recommendation to Harvard because he liked to look at my legs when I did deep knee bends. I got a hot Latina wife now, so there!

How to be an intellectual - First Steps from unasked contributors

First you have to have the proper name. I chose "Brooks". "Brooks" evokes the formerly smoked filled rooms of the Yale Club where conversations are birthed over a warm Scotch and soda. Deliberately WASPY. As the house conservative of the New York Times, I just had to hide my family origins in Eastern Europe. After all, my bio picture has me in tweed.

David Brooks- New York Times

Yes, I agree with David. I changed my name to Stewart- though I was thinking of "Viacom's Voltaire"- until my agent said it made me sound like a wrestler- for much of the same reasons. "Jon" - the clipped form of Jonathan, suggesting urbanity, careful wit, and intelligence- sets atop "Stewart" like a cherry on a sundae.

Jon Stewart- Comedy Central

You both have a point. I was not taken seriously for years because I had a first name suggesting a garden figure.

Noam Chomsky

God Damn it! Stewart stole my first name. Now I have to go back to Beechum.

Jon Meacham- Editor of Newsweek

You should choose an Indian Name. Then you can say things like " The patient man disregards life's laxatives"- and everybody will think you are a genius.

Deepak Chopra - Nirvana (Hotel and Casino)

I have the best name for a intellectual. And I actually went to Yale, unlike Maher who went to Cornell. Allright I did change my last name to Cavett from Cavity, but my first name is Dick! Do you blame me.

Dick Cavett - SunnyDale Rest Home

Dick Cavett Responds to "Going Rogue"

It is a very deplorable, very deplorable, state of affairs, when a book by Sarah Palin is given as much time in the news, as health care. C'est merde, as Satre might well have said that a dunce can command the national stage when I - Dick Cavett- am reduced to writing a blog for the Times and selling DVDs of my fifty year old show on the Shopping network. ($4.95 gets you the episode where Katherine Hepburn and I play Twister while reciting Robert Frost!)

I strain my Midwestern turned Yale graduate brain so much that I fear the creaking of grey matter slowing oozing through my ancient ears. How is it possible? How is it possible, as Emerson no doubt would have wondered looking up from his quill, that Cavett is old and finished: Am I such a joke that "dogs do bark at me on the street" (Richard III, Shakespeare), while Palin is like a Woolworth inspired Venus rising from the dark, damp streets of middle America.

I had my own show once where I played the sage to the high and sundry, the infamous, and famous, the artist and the cabby, the fruit and the veg table, the giraffe and the lion, the penis and the vagina, the moth and the flame.....

Well, at least the Times pays me a small stipend so I don't have to use my toaster for my electric shock therapy anymore.

White House Easter Egg Roll might be filled with 'Glee' from USA Today

True, "Glee" is from a Fox show, but its a good group, and we prefer to celebrate what this administration does best, which is to "roll" the American public", said Chloe Y. Midia, White House deputy spokeswoman.

Seth MacFarlane Comments on Sarah Palin Controversy exclusive to this blog

Dear Mr. Tart:

While your blog has only a readership of seven, I am taking to the opportunity to defend my creation "Family Guy" here, because since you are obviously a right wing nut, we don't want you driving a fertilizer truck into our production studios, do we?

As a fan of Sarah Palin, you are unhinged. It is our duty to mock middle America to keep people's minds off vegans, rich venture capitalists who pay no taxes and give liberally to the ACLU and the Sierra club, Harvard types who get scholarships to go to law school so they can defend terrorists, and Hollywood activists who have the IQ power of a night light.

We were not mocking Sarah Palin's baby by having the character, a mentally challenged individual, say her parents were " an accountant and the ex governor of Alaska". As progressives, we are not that unkind.

We were saying that its OK to make fun of Sarah Palin because she is the mother of a down syndrome baby. Its a divine punishment. ( Even though we don't believe in God). As in " Too bad about the baby Sarah, what a downer" (ha, ha)

Further its OK, to make fun of parents who have autistic children ("Did he come with his own GPS" Ha, Ha). Or if a baby is given the wrong IV fluid. ("Too bad, the nurse didn't have a cork", ha-ha). Just like if parents had a baby who was born with no brain stem. ("Well look at the bright side, no student loans, huh"-ha,ha).

I hope this clears up this controversy. Middle America just has to understand that no talent progressives are given TV shows for a reason, and with a little effort , you too, ignorant as you are, can understand our humor.

Also, please tell Bill Maher to stop calling my home phone and asking if I have Dr. Pepper in a Can.

Bill Maher Reacts

Dear Blog Editor of Sarah Palin Haters- Do they speak Austrian

As a funny man, and intellectual, as a form of life beyond your comprehension, I am allowed to make insulting comments about Sarah Palin and her baby.

Consider:

Have you heard of J.D Salinger. Great writer. Possibly one of the greatest writers of the last decades of twentieth century. Well, he was half Irish, and half Jewish.

See! I am half Jewish, and I am half Irish. Got it. I am a great intellectual. And I am funny. Do you think Kant did pratfalls? I can do pratfalls. I can make funny noises, and throw my voice so nobody knows. I once made a fart noise while Alan Greenspan was discussing economics with Chris Mathews and Arianna Huffington at a salon gathering. Boy, Greenspan turned beet red; and Andrea Mitchell was mortified. Then I put a fart bag under Mitchells seat- and all the time I kept discussing Jean Genets "The Maids' with her without batting an eye.


True, I only went to Cornell- the lesser of the "Ivy League". But only because the Nuns were against me and rewrote my college essay to Harvard in crayon.

So stick it! You and your blog!

(By the way we do not give out tickets to my HBO show. Nobody would come. We tell stupid tourists to LA that they are going on a reality show, and whoever laughs the loudest gets a BMW.)