Listen, I have not been having an affair.
First, having sex burns 25 calories per 5 minute. That's a waste of energy! And as you sweat during sex, you release carbon dioxide. And let me tell you, with my love handles, I have way too much skin with which to poison the earth.
Would I chance a quickie to satisfy my own lust, and kill a Pelican in the process?
Its all in my new book, The Tipper point- Sex, Sweat, and Global Warming.
Showing posts with label Al Gore. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Al Gore. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
More Liberal Readers Respond!
Sarah Palin is a dummy. She took 100,000 for a speech!. Why, I get three hundred thousand per speech, and I don't even believe what I am saying.
Al Gore
I am not stupid. I was let into Harvard. The Admissions committee said they were really impressed and the tuition would only be 800,000$ per semester, they would let me make a 1,000,000 $ donation to the Harvard Wolf Refuge for victims of aerial hunting, though they said they would build it "really soon". They also said it would be a good idea if I donated a urine and stool sample to the Harvard Square Woman's Health Study Clinic. I am still not sure what furniture has to do with health study.
Ashely Judd
I am not a bitch! I used to show William Safire my thong all the time. He would get real red, but at the time, he needed to know what a thong was to write about the Clinton Monica scandal. So see- I help people all the time. And no, an abridged copy of my book " Are men really necessary" is not being handed out with Trojan's new vibrator. Ok, when I was dating Micheal Douglas, I did once tape his member to his stomach, when he was sleeping, but only because he made me watch "Romancing the Stone" five times when we had sex.
Maureen Dowd- New York Times
Al Gore
I am not stupid. I was let into Harvard. The Admissions committee said they were really impressed and the tuition would only be 800,000$ per semester, they would let me make a 1,000,000 $ donation to the Harvard Wolf Refuge for victims of aerial hunting, though they said they would build it "really soon". They also said it would be a good idea if I donated a urine and stool sample to the Harvard Square Woman's Health Study Clinic. I am still not sure what furniture has to do with health study.
Ashely Judd
I am not a bitch! I used to show William Safire my thong all the time. He would get real red, but at the time, he needed to know what a thong was to write about the Clinton Monica scandal. So see- I help people all the time. And no, an abridged copy of my book " Are men really necessary" is not being handed out with Trojan's new vibrator. Ok, when I was dating Micheal Douglas, I did once tape his member to his stomach, when he was sleeping, but only because he made me watch "Romancing the Stone" five times when we had sex.
Maureen Dowd- New York Times
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Deleted Comments
( Even though my blog has a readership of six, it has attracted some detractors.)
Mr. Tart- Your blog indirectly criticizes the President by intimating that the President does not know that Austrian is not a language. Let me remind you that repeating a liberals gaffes is a right wing smear tactic, perfected by McCarthy. Please shut down your blog, or the Administration will be forced to email everyone you know that you rented "Showgirls" from Netflix- twice.
The White House
Sarah Palin is a climate denier. She does not believe in gravity. She stands in the way of progress. She does not know that the South Pole will completely melt in five years because the earth's core is 7 million degrees. So there. ( By the way, like how me and Tipper are really on to something with this global warming crap. In five years, our family will have substituted tobacco profits by making poor slobs pay 8,000$ for solar panels. We will be completely legit, just like the Corleones)
Al Gore
I would like to rip out Sarah's eyes with my fingernails. How can her book be number one, and my book is dead last on Amazon. She had a ghostwriter. Ok, I had one too for my fiction book, but thats only for the sexy parts. After all, I couldn't rely on memory.
Barbara Boxer
Mr. Tart- Your blog indirectly criticizes the President by intimating that the President does not know that Austrian is not a language. Let me remind you that repeating a liberals gaffes is a right wing smear tactic, perfected by McCarthy. Please shut down your blog, or the Administration will be forced to email everyone you know that you rented "Showgirls" from Netflix- twice.
The White House
Sarah Palin is a climate denier. She does not believe in gravity. She stands in the way of progress. She does not know that the South Pole will completely melt in five years because the earth's core is 7 million degrees. So there. ( By the way, like how me and Tipper are really on to something with this global warming crap. In five years, our family will have substituted tobacco profits by making poor slobs pay 8,000$ for solar panels. We will be completely legit, just like the Corleones)
Al Gore
I would like to rip out Sarah's eyes with my fingernails. How can her book be number one, and my book is dead last on Amazon. She had a ghostwriter. Ok, I had one too for my fiction book, but thats only for the sexy parts. After all, I couldn't rely on memory.
Barbara Boxer
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