Monday, December 28, 2009

Headlines you have to look twice at

Democrat eyeing Kennedy seat avoids family legacy from the Associated Press

The democrat candidate- Martha Coakley- is also avoiding large bodies of water, and taking the ferry if necessary.

Two teachers ordered to return more than $148000 in overpayments from the Los Angeles Times

Don't be too hard on them- they taught civics.

White House Takes on Cheney Over Criticism of Terror Response from Fox News

Those pesky Terrorists can wait! Meanwhile, the Adminstration has to make sure that Nigerian Kid didn't get roughed up on the plane, that's a hate crime.

White House visitors log reflects Obama agenda from the Washington Post
Mickey Mouse denies he slept in the lincoln bedroom

Ginkgo Doesn't Stop Cognitive Decline
That explains alot about the Green Movement.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

And they make fun of Sarah?

What does the Executive Director of the ACLU, Anthony D. Romero do, when he is not suing to let pedophiles move next to the neighborhood Montessori school?

That is, on those awful, boring days when Romero just can't make it to his cottage on a former horse farm in the tony Hamptons, and just has to stay in the city (oh la vie est difficile).

In the late afternoon, I’ll usually end up at the Russian-Turkish baths, on the Lower East Side, on East 10th Street. It’s where I get a platza, which is when the Russian guys beat you with oak leaves .

Hmm. He also likes to pet a horse ( from Argentina, not a good old American horse) named Noche.

The ALCU just lost a twenty dollar million endowment. Wonder why?

Romero also likes to read ancient history. He just finished a book on the Roman Emperor Hadrian, and makes this brilliant observation:
It was all about globalization before we had the Internet and international airline travel.

Hmm, like I guess we had to wait until at least the renaissance to get a good couch discount to denmark.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

"Death Panels" Lie of the Year - Emails

Leave it to the Saint Petersburg Times , a Russian Newspaper, to expose Sarah Palin for the liar she is- and call her out on the "Death Panels". Why don't we have American newspapers doing that? I have to go now- PETA is photographing me nude with an Artic Fox snuggled in my breasts. Cute ears, but such nasty teeth. Little bastard really rips up my falsies.
Ashley Judd

Ah Ashley Dear, Your heart is in the right place- but the Saint Petersburg Times is owned by the left leaning Poynter Institute and is based in Tampa Florida. I was worried that they would choose Obama saying Doctors make 30,000$ cutting off feet. Whew dodged a bullet there! See when liberals use hyperbole ( look it up Ashley), we call it Lincolnesque- when conservatives do it, we call it lies. Got it.
Paul Krugman

"Death Panels" was chosen as the lie of the year by almost 5,000 readers of the Saint Petersburg Times. Some say this is not a fair representation of a nation of 300 Million people, but we stand by it. OK , my mother voted twice.
Editor- Saint Petersburg Times

5,000 people is almost as much as see a UFO in a year. So you know its scientific.
Sanderson "Brucie" Campbell- Horses End, Vermont

This has nothing to do with Death Panels, but I want people to know I am a real comedian. Even though I haven't said anything funny in years, I still got it. Pretend I have an Apple in my ear. Then you say, "Gee, Bill, you have an Apple in your ear". Then I say, " I can't hear you I have an Apple in my ear". HBO loved it!
Bill Maher

Would someone please tell Maher, for the joke to work you need a banana in your ear. Take it from me, I have had alot of bananas in my ear over the years. Well, maybe not a banana, but close enough.
Kevin Jennings- White House

Monday, December 21, 2009

Emails to my blog

Oh right its true. The DNC has me on ice. They plan on bringing me back when the there is a cure for cancer. But don't let anyone know because they don't want to cover this under health care reform.
Ted Kennedy

We feel we have to answer a statement made here in this blog by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. We can not support forcing poor bacteria to produce botox injections. Bacteria are living creatures, and we do not support the enslavement of even unicellular animals for man's insane profit motive.

The Speaker of the House misspoke. Ms. Pelosi has never been given Botox injections nor does she approve of forcing bacteria to mass produce botox solution. She supports the rights of Bacteria. Throughout her career, Speaker Pelosi has relied on fiberglass injections to give her face that "tight as a drum" veneer. Ms. Pelosi thinks so much of bacteria, that sometimes she does not even wash her hands.

Office of the Speaker of the House- Spokeswoman Chloe Y.Midia

Press Clippings from around the Nation

Senator Harry Reid denied that a member of his staff Bernice "Pepsi" Tanner "channeled" Senator Edward Kennedy to ask the late Senator for tips on passing health care reform. In a statement to the Congressional Mishaps Press , however,Senator Reid did not rule out a seance later next year if Republican continued to stonewall on the legislation.

Sierra Club Members offer to retrain out of work coal miners whose livelihood has been disrupted by environmental policies. " Our members always need good caddies, maids, and bellhops", said Peter Thurston Osgood, Northeast Sierra Club co-coordinator," and damn if we can't teach anyone to make a really good Tuber salad". ( Condor Daily News, Biceps Colorado).

Police arrested two members of theTroy New York Chapter of the ACLU in a Nativity Theft. Inebriated after the chapter's annual winter solstice party, the two ACLU members, Tye Hacksmershim and Zoner "Boots" Kadorfi ,grabbed a plastic cow near the infant Jesus, and tried to hail a taxi. The taxi driver became suspicious when the two asked the cab driver if he was a Hindu, and if "giving a ride to cow "would be "insensitive". "When I wouldn't let them in, they called me a facist", said Lionel Goswami, "so I had the dispatcher call the cops."

Sunday, December 20, 2009

More Deleted Comments

You are the one that is dumb. You spelled Australian wrong. Ha Ha. Wait- is Australia the one with the Kangaroos, or is that Argentina.
Ashley Judd

I don't think we need another blog from 300 pound loser in a basement about the evil liberal media.
love mom

I am not a hypocrite- Botox is a natural occuring substance in nature, just like silcone.
Nancy Pelosi

Deleted Comments

( Even though my blog has a readership of six, it has attracted some detractors.)

Mr. Tart- Your blog indirectly criticizes the President by intimating that the President does not know that Austrian is not a language. Let me remind you that repeating a liberals gaffes is a right wing smear tactic, perfected by McCarthy. Please shut down your blog, or the Administration will be forced to email everyone you know that you rented "Showgirls" from Netflix- twice.

The White House

Sarah Palin is a climate denier. She does not believe in gravity. She stands in the way of progress. She does not know that the South Pole will completely melt in five years because the earth's core is 7 million degrees. So there. ( By the way, like how me and Tipper are really on to something with this global warming crap. In five years, our family will have substituted tobacco profits by making poor slobs pay 8,000$ for solar panels. We will be completely legit, just like the Corleones)

Al Gore

I would like to rip out Sarah's eyes with my fingernails. How can her book be number one, and my book is dead last on Amazon. She had a ghostwriter. Ok, I had one too for my fiction book, but thats only for the sexy parts. After all, I couldn't rely on memory.

Barbara Boxer

Thursday, December 3, 2009

The Christian Science Monitor prints alot of insults aimed at Sarah Palin from the usual educated nothings.

One such example : Eilene Zimmerman, who has written, among other things, articles about how we should drink toilet water (after purification thank God) to preserve the water supply.

Palin is simply "not smart".

Eilene is smart, though. Read the following bit of writing that Eilene wrote for a review of the book "Exposure":

"Like a bullet shot from a gun, Exposure takes off and keeps moving to the end".

Wow. What a subtle analogy. Not trite. Brillant. Not obvious. Educated.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


A young journalist Dana Chivvis vomits forth the Sarah Palin/Jet Controversy for AOL today in their homepage section "Sphere".

Predictably, the article contains links to both "The Daily Kos", and "Palingates". The latter blog spent considerable time trying to prove that Bristol Palin was Trig's real mother because she quit her summer job at Nordstrom's around the time that Trig was born. It is run by some guy called Patrick12344- I don't know if he chose this name for its catchy repetition of numbers or he doesn't know how to count. ( See:

So here you have a major American company promoting a smear site. Contrary to Ms Chivvis' assertation, Palingates did not "break" this story - so I can only conclude she includes this link to promote the website.